Boundless Bliss Yoga
  • Home
    • About
    • Contact Information
  • Yoga Therapy
  • OTHER OFFERINGS
  • Blissful Banter

What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate...

12/22/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture

Compassion=Concern for Others' Suffering
Empathy=Feel What the Other Person is Experiencing
Assertive Communication=Speaking Your Truth
​
​
Through compassion, empathy, and assertive communication, you can cultivate loving-kindness. 

What is loving-kindness? You may have heard of Metta Meditations.  Metta is Sanskrit for "loving-kindness".  Loving-Kindness is friendliness, amity, and good-will. It is an active interest in others.

Compassion for others infuses assertive communication with warmth and caring while empathy helps to understand an individual’s inner workings.  These skills lead to interacting with loving-kindness regardless of your personal suffering and leads to wishing the other person wellness.  This amazing combination (compassion, empathy and assertive communication) dissipates the feelings of ill-will that our brain can and does create. 
Picture

​​Which leads me to my husband.  He is a fixer. A fixer of fixers. The Chief Fixer. A man who thinks he can fix any thing, any one, and any situation.   And this is why I married him...I don't mean because he can fix my car or the heat pump or just about anything mechanical.  I mean he is helper.  He has this ginormous heart and goes out of his way to FIX all the wrongs of the world.  He spends hours helping a local school (because the dads don't volunteer-we don't have any kids).  He spends weekends rehabbing old cemeteries (the families have forgotten them-we don't know anyone buried in them).  He just is a nice guy who wants to take care of everyone.

He is the guy who will give you the shirt off his back-literally!!

So...sometimes people manipulate that kindness.  They know if they fain distress, he will come to the rescue, take over and fix everything.  Those people don't have to be accountable for their own behavior...because they are users. We all know the type!

Then...

I get frustrated with the hubs because he takes on stress and responsibilities that are not his to take on.  The very trait I love him for, pisses me off. 
Picture

​...which leads us to arguments.  We have all been there, right?  

Here's what I try to do...it's hard and I don't always succeed but you might find these steps helpful for cultivating loving-kindness and communicating in a more healthy and helpful way:

1.  Check in. For example:
  • It seems like what bothered you was ___________?
  • Sounds like you're feeling _________, is that right?
2.  Develop a personal code to “listen more, talk less” 
3. Become aware of triggers for ill-will. Don't focus on potential harm to yourself or your family and don't exaggerate the events occurring. 


These steps enable me to communicate more openly, be less reactive, and be more supportive of my husband and his really big heart.
 
How is this a yoga practice?  Glad you asked!

In the Yoga Sutras, the first two limbs of the Eightfold Path are the yama-s and niyama-s. Each contains 5 principles (10 in total) to follow on your path to enlightenment. Three of these are:

Ahimsa=Non-harming. 
  • When communicating, compassion cultivates a loving and safe environment.
Satya=Truth. 
  • Assertive Communication enables you to speak from your heart.
Asteya=Non-stealing.
  • Empathy empowers you to give someone time and space to be heard.

What other yama-s and niyama-s can you think of?
Picture

Try These Practices to Cultivate Loving-Kindness and Effective Communication:
  • Meditate on kindness, compassion and being present with others when communicating. 
  • Journal when you notice your triggers so that future communication can take place from a centered, and calm place.
 


Rosenberg, S. (Director). (1967). Cool Hand Luke [Film]. Jalem Productions.
Hanson, R. (2009). Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom.  Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Kelley Gallop

    I AM Boundless Bliss Yoga. Just me.  I'm a one-lady band. I'm a yoga therapist. I didn't start out to be a yoga therapist,  I just wanted to learn more and SHAAAZZAMM...here I am.

    I'm far from your stereotypical yogi.  I cuss a lot.  I have a dark sense of humor.  You might actually see me in a Jack Daniels t-shirt teaching.  You will never hear me say, "Notice how your buttocks blossoms as you breathe into it".  WTF does that even mean and how would you do that? 

    But what I do know and what you will learn from me is...yoga works.  It challenges. It empowers.  It heals.  

    And that's why I teach.

    Archives

    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020

    Categories

    All
    Air
    Asana
    Ashtanga
    Bhakti Yoga
    Boundaries
    Boundless Bliss Yoga
    Breathe
    Breathing Techniques
    Business
    Children
    Clothes
    Communication
    Compassion
    Dharma
    Dirga Pranayama
    Empathy
    Equanimity
    Ethics
    Family
    Gratitude
    Happiness
    Health & Fitness
    Inspiration
    Jnana Yoga
    Journaling
    Karma Yoga
    Loving Kindness
    Loving-kindness
    Meditation
    Metta
    Mindfulness
    Mountain Brook
    Nadi Shodhana
    Niyamas
    Patanjali
    Peace
    Personal Practice
    Pranayama
    Reclined Bound Angle
    Sadhana
    Samadhi
    Scripts
    Smile
    Stress
    Teaching
    Threads
    Three Part Breathing
    Three-part Breathing
    Values
    Wellness
    What Not To Wear
    Yamas
    Yoga
    Yoga Sutras
    Yoga Therapy
    Your Life's Work

    RSS Feed

© 2013-2023 Boundless Bliss Yoga™ LLC. All rights reserved. Nokesville VA 20181

​
  • Home
    • About
    • Contact Information
  • Yoga Therapy
  • OTHER OFFERINGS
  • Blissful Banter